Motherhood looks different for every woman, but for Simran Shah, it is a constant balancing act between love, chaos, and growth. In this conversation, she begins by sharing where it all started. Born and brought up in a simple, grounded environment where emotions mattered more than anything else, Simran carries those same values into her parenting today. Even in a fast-paced life, she chooses softness over perfection, focusing on making her boys feel safe, loved, and understood through every phase.
Here is her journey, in her own words.
How has your upbringing shaped your parenting?
I think my upbringing has made me a softer mother. I don’t believe in being perfect, I just want my boys to always feel loved, safe, and understood even on my worst days.
What does a typical day with two young boys feel like?
A typical day? Honestly, there is nothing “typical” anymore. It is a mix of chaos and really beautiful little moments. The baby needs me constantly, and my older one needs me emotionally. Some days I feel like I am doing everything together, all at once, and some days I just go with the flow. It is messy, loud, tiring, but also full of love.
How do you balance being present for both children?
I do not think I balance it perfectly, I just try. There are moments when I am with one child but thinking about the other. But I have started focusing on being fully present in small pockets. Even 10 to 15 minutes of undivided attention to my older one makes a difference. And with the baby, it is more about patience and care. I am learning as I go.
What does mom guilt look like in real moments for you?
Mom guilt is almost constant. There are times I am feeding the baby and my older one is asking me to play, and I just cannot. And that look on his face stays with me. But I have also started telling myself that this phase is temporary. I try to make up for it later, with hugs, time, and reassurance.
How has your older son reacted to the baby?
Yes, there have been moments I did not expect, like sudden irritation or him acting out. At first, I did not know how to react. But then I realized he is just trying to understand this new change. So now, instead of correcting him immediately, I try to talk, include him, and make him feel important. It is a learning process for both of us.
Have you felt completely overwhelmed? What helped you through it?
There have been days when I have felt completely overwhelmed, like I just wanted a pause button. What helped me was accepting that it is okay to feel that way. Sometimes I just take a deep breath or step away for a minute. And sometimes, honestly, just getting through the day is enough.
A moment between your boys that stayed with you?
One moment I will never forget is when my older one randomly came and gently touched the baby’s face and said something in his own baby language. It was so pure and unplanned, I just stood there watching. It made me realize they already have their own little bond.
How are you holding on to your identity in this phase?
Holding on to my identity is hard right now. Most days, I feel like I am just “mumma.” But I am trying in small ways. Even if it is taking a little time for myself or doing something I enjoy. I remind myself that I still exist beyond motherhood, even if it looks different now.
Your first time bathing your baby alone?
The first time I bathed my baby alone, I was honestly scared. I kept thinking, “What if I do something wrong?” I was extra careful with everything. But once it was done, I felt so proud, like okay, I can do this.
Did bathtime feel like a task or something more?
In the beginning, it was definitely just a task, something I had to do carefully and quickly. But slowly, it became more than that. Now it is a mix of fun, laughter, little splashes, and sometimes even calm moments. It has become special without me even realizing it.
A milestone that made you emotional because they are growing up?
Yes, there was a moment like that. When they reached a milestone, I smiled but inside, I felt emotional. Not because of the achievement, but because it reminded me how fast they are growing. It is a strange feeling, happiness and a little ache at the same time.
What everyday ritual feels sacred now?
Right now, the most sacred part of my day is when everything slows down, especially before bedtime. When they are close to me, calm, and it is just us. No distractions. Those moments feel really special.
What does being an empowered mother mean to you?
If one day my child calls me an empowered woman, I hope it is because they saw me being real. Not perfect, not always strong, but still showing up every day. I hope they say I was loving, patient, and that I did not lose myself completely while raising them. That would mean everything to me.
A Gentle Reminder for Every Mother
Simran’s journey reminds us that motherhood is not about doing everything perfectly. It is about showing up, even on the hardest days. It is about choosing love in the middle of chaos, and finding yourself again in the process.
If her story felt like a reflection of your own, you are not alone.
We would love to hear your story too. DM us at @softsens Instagram and become a part of our growing mama tribe. Your journey might be exactly what another mother needs to read today.
