Motherhood changes you in ways no one can fully explain until you live it. For Ira Varma, a mother based in Thane, this journey with her 1-year-2-month-old daughter has been one of quiet transformation. In the middle of constant care, evolving routines, and emotional shifts, Ira shares that motherhood has made her more patient, more present, and deeply emotionally aware. This phase, where babyhood slowly fades and toddlerhood begins, has brought with it a mix of pride, exhaustion, and a kind of love that keeps deepening every day.
When did it first hit you that she’s not a baby anymore?
When she insists on doing things on her own, it is a proud yet emotional reminder she’s growing up.
What does that push and pull between independence and need feel like?
It’s a constant push and pull. She wants independence but still needs me for comfort. It can be tiring but also very special.
What do tantrums and overwhelming moments really look like at home?
Tantrums are messy and real. They are moments of confusion, patience, and learning for both of us.
Have you ever lost patience and felt immediate guilt after?
Yes, and the guilt is instant. I remind myself to pause, reconnect, and do better.
What does a really difficult day look like for you?
A difficult day is when nothing soothes her and I feel exhausted, but I still show up.
When did you first feel fear about the world she will grow up in?
Thinking about the world she will grow up in brings a quiet fear and a stronger need to raise her confidence.
Do you find yourself becoming more protective than expected?
Yes, more than expected. I try to balance protection with not projecting my fears.
How do you deal with early expectations or stereotypes around raising a girl?
Expectations start early. I prefer letting her grow at her own pace.
Have you felt like you’re losing parts of yourself in this phase?
Sometimes I do feel like I’m losing myself. I miss my “me time,” but I’m also evolving.
What are you consciously working on within yourself as you raise her?
I’m working on letting go of perfection and allowing both of us to grow freely.
In Letting Go of Perfection, You Find the Real Version of Motherhood
Ira Varma’s journey reflects a phase many mothers quietly live through but rarely articulate. The in-between stage where your child is no longer a baby yet still needs you for everything. It is filled with small heartbreaks, growing independence, constant questioning, and a love that feels both grounding and overwhelming.
Her story is a reminder that motherhood is not about getting it right every time. It is about showing up, learning, unlearning, and growing alongside your child. In the middle of exhaustion and self-doubt, there is also resilience, connection, and a deeper understanding of yourself.
Every mother’s journey deserves to be heard.
If this resonated with you, we would love to hear your story. DM us at @softsens Instagram to share your experience and become a part of our Mama Tribe.
